Christmas Ever After Page 21
He hadn’t shaved and his weatherproof jacket brushed against his dark jaw. His shoulders seemed even wider than normal under the bulky material.
“Is that right?” His face was serious as he listened. “Want me to pin her down so you can paint her blue instead?”
“She’s already blue.”
Alec’s gaze shifted to Sky’s hair. “So she is.” He met her gaze and Sky felt her insides tumble, freefalling and spinning.
Mr. Outdoor Guy, she thought, and felt something ripple through her. “Why aren’t you working?”
“I came looking for you.” His tone together with his penetrating gaze made her feel as if she’d been picked up and tossed around by the incoming tide.
They were in public, but the way he looked at her made her feel as if they were alone.
Had Richard ever looked at her with that degree of focus? As if she were the only person in the room?
He’d come looking for her.
“Oh. Well that’s—” Romantic, she thought, and a delicious whisper of sexual awareness tickled her skin. “Great.”
“I half expected to have to dig you out of a snowdrift.” He lowered Lizzy carefully and Sky frowned.
Not so romantic.
He hadn’t come looking for her because he’d missed her, but because he assumed she’d screwed up and fallen in a snowdrift.
Her false assumption made her prickly. And uneasy. Her relationship with Alec wasn’t about romance. It was about lighthearted fun and lots of physical chemistry.
“If you were worried, you could have just called. You didn’t need to climb in the car.”
“I called. Your phone is switched off.”
Her phone?
She scrabbled in her pocket, pulled out the phone and realized he was right. She’d forgotten to switch it on. It had been one of the many things about her that had driven Richard insane. “I’m sorry.” She stammered the words, the apology instinctive. “I wasn’t thinking. I mean I was thinking, but I wasn’t thinking about the phone. That’s just it. I was dreaming and miles away and—” Her flood of excuses tailed off as she noticed they were both staring at her. “What? I’ve said I’m sorry.”
Emily touched her arm gently. “Sky—”
“I do it all the time.” Alec’s voice was calm and steady. “The last thing you want when you’re thinking is to be disturbed by technology. You don’t have to apologize.”
“But it’s irritating, I understand that. I should pay more attention to the real world and—” She gasped as Emily hugged her. “What?”
“Don’t. Don’t,” she said fiercely. “Never apologize for being who you are.”
Was that what she’d been doing?
She closed her eyes, drenched in embarrassment. “I know it’s irritating when you can’t reach someone, that’s all.” She was barely able to look at them. “You didn’t need to come looking for me, Alec. I’ve been coming to this island since I was eighteen. I’m sensible and I’m hardly likely to fall down a hole in the middle of the day.”
There was a pause.
“It’s dark, Sky.” His voice was as dark and soothing as rich chocolate.
“Dark?” She looked from his sympathetic gaze to the window and realized that at some point while she’d been talking to Emily and playing with Lizzy the sun had gone down. She let out a breath and pushed her hair back from her face. “I lost track of the time. Didn’t realize it was so late. But you didn’t need to worry. Em would have given me a ride home.” Crap, she’d called his house “home.” “I mean to your house. Obviously it’s not my home, it’s your home. Where I’m staying. For a short time.” Shut up, Sky.
Caught in the beam of Emily’s astonished gaze, she looked away just as Lizzy piped up in an innocent voice.
“You wouldn’t hurt Sky, would you, Alec?”
Sky froze.
So did Alec. His shoulders tensed and his gaze fastened on her like a laser. “Why do you think I’d hurt her?”
“I don’t know, but Emily said she was afraid you might.”
Emily made a sound in her throat, somewhere between disbelief and acute embarrassment. “Lizzy—”
“You said he wasn’t capable of happy-ever-after. I don’t understand.”
Sky and Emily were both mute and it was Alec who dropped to his haunches in front of the little girl.
“Emily is very wise,” he said quietly.
“But why aren’t you capable of happy-ever-after?”
“Because happy-ever-after is for fairy tales, not real life.”
Lizzy looked him in the eye. “You’re not happy?”
“Yes,” Alec breathed, “I’m happy. But no one can be happy ‘ever after.’ Stuff happens. Life happens. Things change.”
“I know. My mom died and now I’m living here with Aunt Emily. Did something sad happen to you?”
Alec held her gaze. “I hurt someone once. Your aunt Emily is worried I might do it again.”
Lizzy stared at him. “Were you sorry?”
“Very sorry.”
“So you don’t want to hurt Sky?”
Alec hesitated for a fraction of a second. “No,” he said gruffly. “I don’t want to hurt Sky.”
“I knew you wouldn’t.” Lizzy wrapped her arms round him and squeezed. “Come and see my painting. I did a picture of the Captain Hook.”
Alec returned the hug and when he rose to his feet his face was blank of expression.
“Show me your painting.”
Sky had never felt more awkward or uncomfortable about anything in her life.
“Alec—” Emily’s voice was strangled but he gave her a brief smile.
“It’s fine, Emily. You were looking out for your friend, and it’s a legitimate concern.” His tone was neutral and he followed Lizzy to the side of the room where she’d been painting.
Emily mouthed I’m so sorry to Sky, who gave a helpless shrug.
She didn’t know which was worse—the fact Alec knew they’d been talking about him, love and happy-ever-after or the fact that he’d witnessed her emotional meltdown.
If she could have picked a moment for Puffin Island to sink back into the sea, it would have been now.
Alec studied the little girl’s work closely, offering plenty of praise and some helpful observations.
Emily’s expression softened and she glanced across at Sky again, this time with her hand pressed to her heart.
Sky rolled her eyes and went to wash the brushes and do what she could to remove the splashes of blue from her hair.
Emily might think everything was fine, but she now had to explain her way out of an embarrassing situation.
By the time she’d cleaned up, Alec was by the door.
“See you later.” Sky bent to kiss Lizzy, postponing the moment of departure for as long as possible. Then she picked up her bag and followed Alec to the car.
The freezing air engulfed her and she snuggled deeper into the warmth of Alec’s jacket, dreading the inevitable conversation.
“Maybe I’ll just walk home.”
“Get in the car, Sky.”
If it hadn’t been for the air temperature, she would have argued.
“All right, but for the record I don’t see us dancing into the sunset together holding hands, so you really don’t have to worry about me.”
Alec opened the car door for her, his expression inscrutable. “Get in. We’ll have this conversation somewhere there is less chance of developing frostbite.”
Her heart sank. She didn’t want a conversation. She wanted to forget the whole thing. “That sounds like something my mother might say. ‘We need to talk, Skylar.’ And we really don’t. Emily worries, that’s all.”
“She’s right to worry. Get in.”
Sky glanced at his face, at the rigid set of his jaw, and slid into the car without argument. “You’re not going to hurt me, Alec. I’m having fun, that’s all.”
“This morning I was grumpy and rude. How was that fun?”
“You had deadline panic. I get that. And I had a lovely, dreamy day. So dreamy I forgot to switch my phone on. I’ve already apologized for that oversight.”
“And you shouldn’t.” His voice was soft but firm. “Don’t ever apologize for being who you are.”
Without giving her time to reply, he closed her door and moments later slid into the driver’s seat.
Sky sat there, stunned.
Don’t ever apologize for being who you are.
When had anyone other than her friends ever said that to her?
The answer was never.
Feeling ridiculously emotional, she was wondering how to respond when he lifted his hand and cupped her cheek. His fingers were warm, the slow stroke of his thumb deliciously suggestive.
The way he tilted his head meant that his mouth was dangerously close to hers.
Her need to kiss him, and be kissed by him, was almost painful.
She wanted to sink into his hard strength, slide her fingers into his silky hair and press her mouth to his.
She wondered if it was possible to be addicted to the way someone kissed.
“We shouldn’t have started this.” His voice was rough. “We should never have started this.”
“Why?”
“Because you want love, and I can’t give you that. Even your friends know it.”
“I don’t want love from you. All I want from you is what you’re already giving me.” Her gaze dropped from the perfect lines of his mouth to the hard planes of his jaw. The dark shadow told her that he’d been absorbed in his work all day. “You didn’t shave.”
“I forgot.”
“I like it. It’s sexy.”
His eyes darkened. “You could stay with Emily tonight instead of coming back to the cottage. You’d be safer.”
“And sexually frustrated.” She kept her tone light. Not for a second was she going to reveal how mixed up her feelings were. What his words had meant to her. “I don’t want to be safe. A fun, exciting, adventurous life is never safe. You don’t have to worry about me, Alec. I’m a big girl.”
“Emily would disagree.”
“She’s a worrier by nature.”
A muscle flickered in his jaw. “You’re going to ignore the warning of a friend?”
“I am, just as you need to ignore that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you were responsible for everything that went wrong in your marriage. Maybe your ex-wife was hurt by what happened, but you were hurt, too. She has destroyed your ability to interact with women normally without instinctively looking for an ulterior motive or some sort of subtext. Underneath that tough exterior you’re a kind, decent guy, so stop all this ‘I’ll hurt you’ bullshit.” She tried to change the subject. “When I was in Harbor Stores I heard about the storm warning. Do we need to pick up food or anything? We might be trapped together for days.”
He was silent for a moment and then his hand dropped. “We have everything we need.”
She fastened her seat belt. “You do know the best way to warm up is to get naked, don’t you? Flesh against flesh.”
He sent her a look that almost blistered the flesh from her bones. “You’re proposing we do that in Main Street?”
She grinned. “Maybe we should wait until we’re back at your place.”
“We’re not going back to mine. I’m taking you to the Ocean Club.” He dragged his gaze from her mouth to the road and pulled out into the snowy street.
“You need to see Ryan?”
“No. I’m taking you out.”
“Oh.” It was the last thing she’d expected him to say. “Why?”
“Because a relationship should be more than endless sex.”
Unless the point of it was endless sex. She felt a flicker of confusion.
“Our relationship is all about orgasms. Nothing else.”
“Tonight, it is not about orgasms. I’m going to buy you a meal. We’re going to sit across from each other like normal people and have a conversation.”
“So this is—” she blew on her chilled fingers “—a date?”
There was a brief silence. “You could call it that.”
“Are you doing this because of what Emily said?”
“No. I’m doing this because I want to get to know you. The real you. And we don’t have much in the way of conversation when we’re naked.”
The sudden lift in her spirits took her by surprise. He was taking her to the Ocean Club, that was all. The Ocean Club, where she’d been a thousand times before. It shouldn’t feel special. But it did. And it flustered her. “I hope you don’t expect me to sleep with you just because you buy me a chocolate milk shake. I’m not that sort of girl.” She hid her confused feelings behind a joke and the corners of his mouth flickered into a smile.
“I appreciate the warning. And you should have told me you wanted to go to the village today. I would have given you a lift.”
“You were working and I was happy to walk. I enjoyed the fresh air. I spent the first part of the morning playing with designs for Laurel Ferrara.”
“I saw them when I was looking for you.”
The thought of Alec leafing through her designs made her feel breathless and vulnerable. “I don’t normally show my early sketches to anyone.”
“They were all over the floor of the garden room.”
Her tendency to spread her work everywhere was another thing that had driven Richard crazy. And just like that the guilt and anxiety was back. “I’m sorry. I’ll clear up as soon as we walk through the door. You’ll never know I’ve been there.”
He parked at the Ocean Club and killed the engine. “Let’s get something straight—I’m not Richard.” There was an edge to his voice she hadn’t heard before.
“I know.”
“Then stop apologizing for living life the way you want to live it.”
“You do it, too. You warn me you’re going to hurt me. If you can bring baggage to this relationship, then so can I.” Everything about him flustered her. His words, his touch and the way he was looking at her. “We should have equal baggage allowance. I suggest one large case and a carry-on.”
He smiled. “For the record my favorite was the seashell design. I think you should send her that one.”
“I wasn’t sure if it was a little fussy. Laurel likes to keep things simple.”
“I thought it was clever and original. Would it be difficult to make?”
Richard had never discussed her work with her. She wondered if Alec was being polite.
“Part of it might be.” She elaborated a little as they walked into the Ocean Club and Kirsti, the restaurant manager, found them a table by the window.
“Good to have the two of you back on the island.” She handed them menus, gave them both a dazzling smile and then melted away.
Sky knew the menu by heart and didn’t bother picking it up. “So how did your day go? Tell me more about what you’re working on.” She trawled her brain for what she already knew. She’d learned to file away details and bring them out when she needed them. After all, she’d been trained by the best. “Make any progress with your book?
“Some. But we were talking about you.”
“I thought we’d finished talking about me. You’re writing a naval history of the American Revolution, right? I confess I know nothing about that so you’ll need to enlighten me.”
He was silent for a moment, studying her. “So is this how it works?”
“Is this how what works?”
“The game of conversational tennis that your mother taught you. You forget yourself and focus on something you know interests me.”
Flustered, she felt the heat rush into her cheeks. “I thought you brought me here for conversation.”
“I did,” he said slowly, “but genuine conversation. The sort where we discover things about each other apart from what turns us on.”
“This is a real conversation, Alec. I asked you a question. Now it’s your turn. You’
re supposed to answer.”
“I’m not a module to be studied. You’re not going to pass or fail. If you’re interested in something, ask. If you’re not, don’t.”
He made it sound so simple.
“I’m interested.” She glanced up as Kirsti arrived back at their table with drinks. “I’ll have the gourmet burger with skin-on fries. Thanks.”
Alec handed the menus back without looking. “I’ll have the same. With extra fries. Is Ryan here?”
“On the phone with some rich dude who wants to park his yacht here over the winter.” Kirsti tucked the menus under her arm. “I’ll tell him you’re here.”
Sky gave Alec a questioning look. “You missed lunch, too? You ordered extra fries.”
“Those are for you. To stop you stealing mine.”
She peered at him and saw the smile tug at the corners of his very sexy mouth. “Smartass.”
“Princess.”
A week ago that term would have irritated her extremely. Now it made her smile. Or maybe it was the way he said it that made her smile. “How did you get the name ‘Shipwreck Hunter’?”
“The first TV series I ever presented was about shipwrecks. They’d invited me to be an advisor, but I ended up in front of the camera. It went from there.”
“But why shipwrecks? Was your uncle responsible for that?”
“Partly. He used to tell me stories that kept me awake at night. I’m sure he exaggerated and elaborated to feed my imagination. And he succeeded.” He reached for his beer. “There’s something mysterious about a shipwreck—they’re often shrouded by unanswered questions. Some ships become lost in the fog, others stray off course in bad weather and succumb to unpredictable swells or hidden sandbanks. This is the most hazardous stretch of coastline in the whole of the Eastern Seaboard. It was the coastline and shipwrecks that drew me here in the first place.” His deep, dark tones made her shiver.
She could picture him, standing on the deck of a ship, absorbing the rise and fall of the water. “I’m imagining swashbuckling pirates who look like Johnny Depp.”
“There wasn’t much piracy on the Maine coast, although there was some. But there were plenty of shipwrecks. To a young, bloodthirsty boy it was exciting. I was hooked. I begged Harry to take me diving with him and eventually he did. We started with a few dives off the British coast. Those were dark, murky experiences. Then on one of his visits he told me about the HMS Albany, which ran on the ledges of the Northern Triangles in the middle of a winter storm in 1782, right at the end of the American Revolution.”