High-Altitude Doctor Page 4

  ‘Well, that’s nice. Always good to meet a fan.’

  ‘Are you planning to reach the summit this time or are you doing research?’

  ‘Both, hopefully,’ Finn said pleasantly, ‘but you never really know. Mountains have a habit of making decisions for you. You climb when and if they allow it.’

  It was still early and frost winked and flickered as they started up the trail by the side of a boulder-strewn river that sent turquoise water crashing down into the valley.

  Finally Finn moved ahead of them and Juliet felt herself start to relax.

  ‘The water runs off the glacier,’ she told Sally as they strolled along together at a steady pace, ‘so it’s icy cold.’

  They crossed a rickety bridge that ran over the river and Sally stared at a pile of wood neatly stacked to one side of the path. ‘What’s the wood for?’

  Juliet shifted the pack on her back. ‘When the river floods the bridges are often washed away and have to be rebuilt. The wood is there ready for the next bridge.’ She glanced at Sally’s pale face and laughed. ‘You signed on for adventure, remember?’

  Sally pulled a face. ‘Plunging into a ravine wasn’t what I had in mind.’

  As they walked the sun grew hotter and they all stripped off layers and tucked them safely away in their day packs.

  ‘I’ve read so much about your work,’ Sally chatted away, ‘and I’ve read about Dr McEwan. I’ve drooled over his photo on the front of his book but he’s even better-looking in real life, isn’t he? He’s loaded, did you know that? His family is seriously wealthy. That’s the reason he can afford to finance all those expeditions he tackles. Last year Antarctica and this year Everest. He’s rich, good-looking, with a body to die for, and he’s still single. Can you believe that?’

  Juliet concentrated on the trail.

  Yes, she could believe that. She understood about being single. And she was trying hard not to think about Finn McEwan’s body. ‘The man is never in the same place for more than five minutes so I can’t imagine he’s in a position to have a relationship or consider marriage.’

  Sally looked at her. ‘So when you’re not climbing, you work in an A and E department?’

  ‘I do locums.’ Juliet shifted her pack on her back. ‘I prefer it that way. It means I don’t get locked in. It’s hard to persuade an employer to give you three months off every spring so that you can vanish to the Himalayas.’

  ‘But surely you won’t want to do that for ever? Won’t you want to settle down and get married?’

  Juliet kept her eyes forward. ‘I’m not very good at staying in one place,’ she said eventually. ‘And marriage isn’t for everyone.’

  Something flickered inside her and she pushed it away. She’d never been interested in settling down, and she never would be.

  She needed to know that she could just pack a bag and go, wherever she wanted to go, whenever she wanted to go there, without reference to another person.

  She needed to know that her heart wouldn’t be broken.

  She walked deep in thought as the path snaked through rhododendrons and fragrant blue pine and fir. A little later they crossed the river again into the Sagarmartha National Park.

  They stopped at the guard post so that Neil could deal with the special permits that they’d purchased in Kathmandu.

  ‘Why all the security?’ Simon muttered, watching while an armed guard checked all the paperwork.

  ‘Because selling permits is big business to them,’ Neil told him. ‘No one gets in unless they’ve paid. They’re also monitoring the traders. There’s a large military base not far from here.’

  The guards were clearly satisfied with what they saw because the group was allowed to pass and Juliet swung her pack off her back and drank, exhorting the others to do the same.

  ‘Don’t forget the importance of keeping hydrated,’ she said, and Neil grinned.

  ‘You could say it’s all uphill from here, so we’ll take a break, have some lunch and then get stuck in. Brace yourselves for some amazing views.’

  They ate lunch in the blazing heat and Juliet took advantage of the break to strip down to shorts and a T-shirt.

  Then they continued over a huge metal bridge hanging two hundred feet above the tumbling river below and from there the trail climbed steadily upwards towards the Sherpa village of Namche Bazaar.

  Neil kept the pace slow and Juliet followed in the rear, ready to check on any stragglers who might be struggling to keep up.

  From here they could see Everest and Sally stopped dead and reached for her camera.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re actually planning to climb to the top of that,’ she breathed. ‘It looks so far away.’

  Juliet stared towards the mountain and wondered what it had planned for them.

  What dramas would take place on her slopes this year? Would she claim more lives?

  Sally stowed her camera safely in her day pack. ‘There’s hardly any snow on the top.’

  ‘The summit of Everest is in the jet stream. Eighty-mile-an-hour winds make it impossible to climb for almost all of the year.’ Juliet stared at the awe-inspiring triangular jut of black rock that was Everest’s summit and felt something dark and terrifying curl inside her. ‘But around May, the warm winds of the monsoon raise the height of the winds by a few thousand feet and then, if you’re very lucky, for a short time it’s climbable, providing you’re high up the mountain at the time.’

  ‘I’ve heard that just about any fit person could get up there,’ Simon said, adjusting his shades and staring at the peak.

  Juliet stilled for a moment and then turned to look at him, her expression blank. ‘People who underestimate Everest tend to pay the price,’ she said quietly, shifting her pack on her shoulders. ‘Let’s go.’

  She would have liked time to be on her own with her thoughts but he fell into step beside her, obviously intent on charming her.

  ‘So, Dr Adams…’ his smile flashed ‘…what does your boyfriend think about this unconventional job of yours?’

  He was fishing.

  Accustomed to dodging personal questions from persistent journalists eager for a story, she gave a bland smile. ‘My boyfriend is kept pretty busy with his martial arts and boxing,’ she replied with good humour, ‘so it’s not a problem.’

  He cast a speculative look in her direction. ‘If you were mine I wouldn’t let you out of my sight.’

  ‘Then it’s fortunate I’m not yours.’ She changed the subject neatly and then dropped back to join Sally, who was dropping behind. ‘How are you doing?’

  Sally stopped to breath. ‘Fine.’ She wiped her forehead with her forearm. ‘But I’m not as quick as the others.’

  ‘Up here, slow is good,’ Juliet reminded her. ‘It isn’t a race. Don’t worry. You’re doing well.’

  Juliet purposefully slowed her pace and walked with Sally, encouraging and distracting her as they moved leisurely up the trail.

  In the end the two men and Diane, the other trekker, strode ahead with Neil, and Juliet and Sally arrived in the Sherpa village of Namche Bazaar almost two hours behind them.

  ‘It looks like an amphitheatre,’ Sally said breathlessly, gazing upwards at the village, which nestled in a bowl halfway up a mountainside.

  Juliet nodded. ‘It’s surprisingly developed. It has bakeries, email facilities and the market on a Saturday is great.’

  ‘Will we have time to explore?’

  ‘Tomorrow is a rest day.’ Juliet smiled at her. ‘But we recommend that you trek higher and then come back down to sleep. It helps the acclimatisation process. But there’ll certainly be time to look around.’

  She led Sally along a series of narrow paths that led between the buildings until they reached the lodge that would be their home for the night.

  The others were already gathered around a table, drinking tea—apart from Simon, who was drinking beer.

  Finn McEwan had joined them. His hard jaw was dark with stubble and he look
ed sexier than any man had a right to look.

  His eyes met Juliet’s and for a long moment they just stared at each other.

  Sally took the pack off her back with a sigh of relief. ‘We made it in the end, folks,’ she said breathlessly. ‘Better late than never.’

  ‘We’d almost given up on you,’ Simon said, a mocking expression in his eyes.

  Juliet dragged her gaze away from Finn, thoroughly disturbed by the sudden increase in her pulse rate. Why was he affecting her like this? ‘I hope you didn’t overdo it today,’ she said to the other three trekkers, grasping at the opportunity for distraction. ‘I want you to tell me if you have any headaches.’

  Simon rolled the bottle between his fingers and grinned at the others. ‘After a night on the beer, if I don’t get a headache then I’m demanding a refund.’

  Finn’s eyes narrowed. ‘You might want to moderate your alcohol consumption,’ he drawled lightly, and Simon lifted the beer to his lips, a flash of irritation showing in his eyes.

  ‘On the other hand, I might not.’

  Finn didn’t answer and Neil rolled his eyes and gave a shrug, a good-natured smile on his face. ‘It’s good advice, mate. Take it or you’re going to regret it in the morning.’

  Dinner was served by a girl dressed in traditional Sherpa dress. They ate, talked and then Diane and Sally retired to bed early while the men stayed up drinking.

  Stifled by the smoke in the dining room, Juliet went outside for air and was immediately followed by Simon, who had obviously been waiting for the opportunity to get her on her own.

  He slung an arm around her shoulders. ‘This place is great. Really great. And you’re one hell of a woman, Dr Adams.’

  His words were slightly slurred and Juliet moved to one side in an attempt to extricate herself from his grip, but he merely tightened his arm and pulled her against him.

  ‘How about a little holiday romance?’ he drawled, and cupped her face, bringing his mouth down on hers.

  Juliet shoved hard. ‘Get off!’

  He released her and staggered, swaying for a moment as he attempted to keep his balance. ‘If that’s supposed to put me off then you’ll have to try harder. I love a woman with attitude.’ He reached for her again but this time a strong hand closed over his shoulder and hauled him away.

  It was Finn. ‘Do you have a problem?’ His tone was pleasant but his eyes were hard and his expression grim and purposeful. ‘Dr Adams said no.’

  Simon’s eyes narrowed as he tried to focus. ‘And why would you care? Or have you got your eye on her, too?’

  Finn’s jaw tightened. ‘Go upstairs and sleep it off,’ he advised in an icy tone. ‘And don’t forget to apologise in the morning.’

  Simon swayed and he studied the breadth of Finn’s shoulders. Then he gave a shrug and lurched through the doorway back into the lodge, leaving Juliet alone with Finn.

  Snow was falling steadily and the night air was freezing.

  Finn strolled over to her side. ‘You need to watch the company you keep.’

  Her heart was thumping and she felt more than a little shocked by what had happened. ‘I can take care of myself.’ But her voice shook slightly and Finn studied her for a long moment and then glanced back towards the lodge.

  ‘Evidently not.’

  ‘Finn.’ Juliet scraped a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘Thanks for your help, but I can manage. I don’t need you to look out for me.’

  Those blue eyes rested on her face. ‘As long as you’re climbing that mountain, I’ll be watching out for you.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Don’t climb, Juliet.’

  She stiffened, thrown by the sudden change of subject. ‘I beg your pardon?’

  ‘Don’t do it.’ His voice was deep and purposeful. ‘Stay at Base Camp and act as doctor, but don’t climb that mountain.’

  ‘You’re intending to climb it.’

  ‘That’s different.’

  ‘Because you’re a man and I’m a woman?’

  He stared at her for a long moment. ‘No. Not because of that.’

  ‘What, then?’

  There was a strange light in his dark eyes. ‘Tell me.’ His tone was pleasant, almost casual. ‘Just how long are you planning to carry on this pretence that we don’t know each other? For just how long are we expected to act like total strangers?’

  Her heart pounded and suddenly there wasn’t enough oxygen in the air. She glanced behind her to check that they were on their own. ‘For the entire expedition. People are living in each other’s pockets, you know that as well as I do. The last thing people need up here is emotional baggage and conflict and, anyway, it was all a long time ago. Ten years ago, Finn. We don’t know each other any more.’

  His gaze rested on her flushed cheeks. ‘Jules.’ His voice was soft. ‘I know you as well as it is possible for a man to know a woman. I know every single inch of you. I know how your body works, how your mind works. And I know what scares you and what drives you. And I know what’s driving you now.’

  Her body heated and trembled at his blunt reference to the past and she wrapped her arms round her as if to protect herself.

  She didn’t want to remember the past. It was all too complicated.

  Too painful.

  And she didn’t want to remember the way Finn had made her feel.

  ‘It’s in the past, Finn. And that’s where it’s staying. I don’t want to discuss it. I really don’t want to talk about any of it.’ Their relationship was all wrapped up in a time she preferred to forget.

  ‘Why?’ He slipped his fingers under her chin and tilted her face to his. ‘Do I frighten you? Are you afraid I’ll exact my revenge?’

  She flinched and her face lost all its colour. ‘It was a long time ago. I was eighteen years old.’

  Young. Scared. Panicking like mad…

  ‘And that makes it all OK?’

  Guilt stabbed her hard. ‘I’m sorry if I— I didn’t mean to—’ She broke off and he lifted an eyebrow questioningly.

  ‘You didn’t mean to what, Jules?’ His tone was conversational. ‘Leave me standing at the altar without a word of explanation, wondering what the hell had happened to you?’

  The picture he painted was so vivid that she closed her eyes briefly in an attempt to block it out, mortified by how he must have felt. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispered. ‘What must everyone have thought? All the guests—’

  ‘Do you really think I gave a damn about the guests?’ His hand dropped to his side and he gave a frown. ‘I wasn’t interested in the guests and I never was. I was only ever interested in us. In you.’

  She licked dry lips. ‘I just couldn’t do it.’ Her breathing was shallow. ‘It was all wrong. What we were doing was wrong.’

  ‘Getting married?’ His gaze dropped to her mouth and lingered. ‘I don’t think so, sweetheart. But I agree that the timing was wrong.’

  ‘Not just the timing. Everything!’ Juliet stepped back from him, wishing he hadn’t called her ‘sweetheart’ in that lazy, teasing way that she remembered so well. ‘It never would have worked. We were getting married for all the wrong reasons.’

  Finn stilled. ‘You tell me why you think we were getting married,’ he probed gently, his gaze curiously intent. ‘Tell me, Jules. I want to know.’

  Pain twisted inside her and she stared up at him in anguish, her hands clenched by her sides. ‘You know why.’

  He stared at her thoughtfully. ‘I know why I was getting married,’ he said evenly, ‘but I’d like to hear what your reasons were.’

  She bit her lip and tears clogged her throat. ‘I can’t talk about it. And I don’t know why you’re forcing me to. It’s all irrelevant now.’

  ‘We’re talking about it because it’s time you stopped running. You’ve run for ten years and you’re going to keep running unless you stand still and face what happened.’ He gave a crooked smile and brushed his fingers over her cheek in a gesture of comfort that made her want to sob. ‘My cowardly Jules. On
the outside you’re so gutsy and feisty. You’ll climb to the top of Everest if you get the chance, you’ll sail the roughest seas and you’ll raft down wild rivers. But when it comes to relationships you run a mile every time. And as for marriage…’

  ‘Finn—’

  ‘It takes real courage to commit to one person for a lifetime, and you couldn’t do it, could you?’

  ‘Neither could you.’

  ‘No?’ His tone was steady. ‘So why was I waiting in the church that cold winter morning with the ring in my pocket? I waited and waited, but you didn’t show up.’

  She curled her fingers into her palms. ‘I did us both a favour. You didn’t really want to marry me, you know you didn’t.’

  ‘Then why was I standing in the church?’

  ‘We both know why.’ Her eyes filled with pain, her heart twisted in agony and for a moment she just couldn’t speak.

  ‘You’re not going to say it, are you? So I’m going to have to say it for both of us.’ He stood in front of her, his eyes on her face, his broad shoulders suddenly tense. ‘You thought I was standing in the church because of our baby. You thought I was marrying you because you were having our baby.’

  Pain sliced through her and she took another step backwards, her knees shaking. ‘Don’t mention the baby. I don’t ever want to talk about the baby.’

  How could it hurt so much?

  After all this time, how could it cause so much pain?

  With a soft curse he grabbed her shoulders and gave her a gentle shake. ‘It happened, Jules, and we never talked about it because you ran.’

  And he hadn’t followed her.

  His fingers bit into her shoulders and his words bit into her heart. ‘There wasn’t a baby, Finn. I lost the baby. Remember? I lost it at three months, precisely two weeks before the wedding. It happens to loads of women. You’re a doctor, you know that. It’s normal. Just another one of nature’s nasty little surprises. And I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to do this.’ She wriggled out of his grip and backed away from him. ‘I’m going back inside and tomorrow, when we meet in public, I want you to pretend that you never met me before this expedition. I want us to act like we’re strangers, because that’s what we are now. I don’t ever want to talk about the past again and I certainly don’t ever want to talk about our baby. And don’t try and guilt-trip me. I did us both a favour by not turning up that day and you know it.’