Some Kind of Wonderful Read online

  And those thoughts had nothing to do with Salted Caramel Crunch ice cream.

  As a teenager she’d spent far too much time staring at his mouth and when she wasn’t staring at it, she’d been kissing it. If ever a man’s mouth had been designed for that task, it was Zach’s, and if anything, his knowledge of what to do with that mouth had increased.

  The struggle not to touch him was killing her and she suspected it was killing him, too.

  She wanted to rest her mouth against him and breathe him in. She wanted to strip him naked and explore every inch of his body, discover the changes in him. Not a quick slaking of mutual lust like that time in her hallway, but a long, slow, intimate discovery.

  “Zach—”

  “No.” His voice was thickened, and he dragged his gaze from her mouth with visible reluctance. “No.”

  “But—”

  “We’re not doing that again. I won’t hurt you again.”

  Emotion hit her like a rogue wave, burying her in memories. It was all there, the excitement, the hope and the bitter misery.

  The two of them stood alone, an island in a sea of tourists.

  People flowed past them, laughing and chatting as they strolled along Main Street, dipping in and out of Surf and Swim, and enjoying the quaint charm of the village.

  Zach lifted his hand and gently removed a blob of ice cream from the corner of her mouth. “It’s the right decision. You know that.”

  She didn’t know that.

  All she knew was that she was burning up inside.

  To try to break the atmosphere of intimacy, she breathed deeply and looked towards the harbor where the Captain Hook was docking. “I bought provisions for Starlight Adventure. Managed to get in and out of Harbor Stores without an interrogation from Mel.”

  There was a tense silence. “You’re going on that trip?” There was no missing the lack of enthusiasm in his voice.

  “I know I’m not exactly an extra pair of hands, but I tell great campfire stories and I can help if any of the kids are scared in the forest at night. But I’ll be delegating spider-removal duty to someone else.”

  “I’ll be available for spider duty.”

  Awareness shivered across her skin and seeped deep into her soul. He was badass, a little dangerous and insanely hot. Looking at him made her dizzy, as if she’d smacked her head on a hard object. Her brain, which had served her perfectly well for most of her life except the parts when she’d been with him, stalled. For a few seconds the only words she heard were I’m available, and then the implications of his words sank in. “You’re going on the Starlight Adventure?”

  Now she understood why he’d greeted the news that she was going with so little enthusiasm.

  “I help when I can. I teach basic wilderness survival skills.”

  A fact that raised his hot factor another few notches. “So we’ll be spending the night in the forest together.”

  His gaze didn’t shift from hers. “Us, a camp director, four other counselors and eighteen kids.”

  That should have killed the rush of lust but it didn’t. She still wanted to press her mouth to his and kiss him until they were both starved of air. She wanted to slide her fingers into his glossy dark hair and strip off the T-shirt that fitted so snugly over all that hard muscle.

  “Philip didn’t mention you’d be going.”

  “No.” Zach’s tone was short. “I don’t suppose he did.”

  “He probably didn’t think it was relevant, as we’ve been working together anyway.” Or perhaps he was meddling. Would he do that? No, Philip was camp director, not Cupid. But suddenly it all seemed too complicated. Swamped with feelings she didn’t understand, she stepped away. “I’d better go. I’ll see you back at camp.”

  “Wait.” He cursed softly. “How are you getting there?”

  “I was going to call Pete.”

  “I’ll take you.”

  It was obvious from the grim set of his jaw he would rather have stuck pins in himself.

  “Forget it.” Pride took precedence over convenience. “I know it’s a nuisance for everyone having to help me out all the time. I can do this myself.”

  “You think that’s what’s going on here?” He planted his arm against the wall of a shop behind her, caging her so that she couldn’t walk away. “You think you’re a nuisance?”

  His mouth was close to hers, his eyes dark pools of sexual promise.

  “Zach—”

  “Yeah, I’m finding this tough. You are, too. But that doesn’t mean you need to take a cab. We’re adults. Just because the feelings are there, doesn’t mean we have to do anything about them. We can make a choice, and that’s what we’re doing.”

  His arm was next to her cheek, her lips a breath away from the brutal swell of his biceps. All she had to do was turn her head. “So what was the other night?”

  “Random sex.” His voice was low and rough around the edges. “It’s not going to happen again.”

  “Do you often have random sex with people? Because I don’t.”

  His eyes darkened to a dangerous shade of black. “I don’t want to know about your sex life.”

  “Good, because I don’t intend to talk about it.” And suddenly the whole thing seemed ridiculous. Of all the men she’d met in her life, the only one who made her feel this way was her ex-husband.

  There was no justice.

  He eased away from her. “Get in the car, Brittany. I’ll take you back to camp.”

  “Thanks. And, by the way, I don’t like possessive men.”

  A smile flickered at the corner of his mouth. “And I don’t like smart-ass women.”

  “So we’re fine, then. Nothing to worry about.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  ZACH FINISHED LOADING life jackets and canoes on to the trailer.

  One of the camp directors would be driving the gear up to Heron Pond so that it would be waiting for them when they arrived. Each of the children would carry a small backpack with waterproof clothing, lunch and a drink.

  Excitement hummed in the air and the children were talking, swapping stories of their camp adventures so far. All except Travis, who lurked close by, slightly apart from the other children, making no connection with anyone.

  One look told Zach that for Travis, Starlight Adventure was more torture than treat and he didn’t need to read the boy’s file to know what was going on. It was all there, written on Travis’s face and the way he responded to the world.

  He cloaked himself in desperate layers of “I don’t care” and Zach knew all about that. He’d worn the same layers. He knew that caring made you hurt more and that withdrawing was the only way to protect yourself. He’d done the same thing.

  As a barrier against cruelty he’d learned to shut off his feelings. He’d been so good at it that he no longer knew how to access that part of himself. When he’d been with Brittany the first time he’d tried to force himself to feel, but the only emotion that rose to the surface had been panic.

  It seemed that the techniques he’d used to survive were irreversible and he’d long since given up trying.

  He wondered if it would be the same way for Travis or whether he was still young enough to be prepared to give trust one last go.

  Careful to keep his distance, he kept his voice casual as he talked to the boy. “Hey, did you remember your bug dope?”

  Travis gave a brief nod. His gaze skidded warily to Zach and then away again as if he was checking the exits.

  Zach recognized the gesture and it made him feel sick.

  “I could use some help here. This stuff weighs a ton.” He could have lifted it one-handed, but he wanted to pull the boy in from the margins. He wanted him to know there were people he could trust. That the world wasn’t a black pit waiting to suck you in and swallow you whole.

  Travis hesitated, then stepped forward and loaded the oars onto the trailer.

  He didn’t look at Zach, as if not making eye contact somehow reduced the risk.
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br />   “Heron Pond is a cool place.” Zach talked as if the conversation wasn’t all on one side, keeping the topic easy and neutral. “First thing in the morning it’s so still it’s like looking at glass. Throw a stone in there and you can see the ripples spread halfway across the water. But you’re going to need that bug dope. There are insects so big they could swallow you whole without chewing.”

  There was a spark of something in the boy’s eyes. Interest?

  “Did I hear someone say bug dope?” Brittany strolled up to them, a baseball cap embroidered with Camp Puffin jammed onto her head. “You haven’t seen bugs until you’ve dug in Egypt. First thing you do when you wake up in the morning is check your boots for scorpions.”

  Travis sent her a cautious look. “No shit.”

  She ignored the language. “At night we used ultraviolet torches to check for them. There’s a compound in the exoskeleton of scorpions that causes them to glow in UV light. It means we can see where they are. They show up as a ghostly green color. Fluorescent. Remind me to show you a picture.”

  “Gross.” But he looked fascinated.

  “Truly gross.” She tightened the straps of her backpack. “And you don’t want to be bitten by one of those suckers.”

  “Would you die?”

  “No, but it would hurt like a—” She broke off and grinned. “It would hurt a lot.”

  Travis was about to ask something else when a few of the children hovering nearby decided they wanted to hear more about scorpions, too.

  As they drew closer, Travis retreated.

  Zach saw it happen.

  Brittany saw it, too. “Hey, more scorpion tales later, folks. Right now we have a hike ahead of us.” She walked over to Travis. “I hate to admit this in front of Zach, but this backpack is too heavy for me to manage with my wrist in a cast. You look pretty strong—” she eyed Travis’s skinny frame “—would you carry a couple of things for me? You’d be my hero.”

  The boy stared at her. The idea of being anyone’s hero was clearly an alien concept. “I guess. If you can’t manage.”

  “I don’t want to load you down.”

  “I can handle it.” He swung his backpack off his back and as he did so his T shirt rode up, exposing a livid scar on his stomach.

  Zach saw Brittany’s eyes narrow and then she was delving into her own backpack, carrying on as if nothing had happened. “If you could carry my sweater and raincoat that would be great,” she said casually. “You better walk up front with me. I’m going to need that sweater if it gets cool.”

  She could just as easily have hollered for it, but she obviously wanted to keep the boy close and Zach approved of that decision.

  After the brief interest triggered by the scorpion talk, Travis had reverted to his usual blank self. He showed no emotion. Not relief, not excitement, not even boredom.

  It was as if someone had switched him off.

  Jason, one of the camp directors, was in charge of leading the trip and Steph, one of the counselors, was the one designated to drive the gear up to Heron Pond and prepare for their arrival.

  Three other counselors joined the trip, including Rachel, Ryan’s sister who taught at the local school and helped at the camp during her summers.

  While Rachel took a group of the younger children and played games as they walked, identifying trees and plants, Zach noticed that Travis stayed close to Brittany.

  She chatted to him about the various expeditions she’d been on over the years, knowing instinctively which stories were likely to hold the attentions of a teenage boy. Listening to the conversation, Zach started to form a picture of the life she’d led in the decade they’d been apart. It was a three-hour trek through the woods to Heron Pond and by the time they approached their camp he’d learned that she preferred Cambridge to Oxford, that her favorite food in Greece had been baklava and that she’d once fallen off a camel in Egypt.

  “The worst thing about camels?” She smacked an insect from her arm with her palm. “The smell. Ever seen that scene in Indiana Jones where the girl sprays the elephant with her perfume? I wanted to do that with the camel but having already fallen off when the stupid thing stood up, I needed both hands to hold on.”

  Travis almost smiled. “You said real archaeology was nothing like that movie.”

  “It isn’t, but that part made perfect sense to me.”

  “Did you see the pyramids?”

  “Yeah. They’re cool if you can dodge the tourists. Because we were working with the university, we had a private tour.” She talked about the thrill of watching a sunset over the desert and of almost collapsing on the walk up to Machu Picchu. “Eight thousand feet above sea level. Breathing is a challenge and a couple of people in my group had altitude sickness, but it was stunning. I’ll never forget it.”

  But most of the time she talked about Greece. About blue skies and transparent water and how the whole place was an archaeological nirvana. To pass the time she taught Travis a few words of Greek.

  Zach couldn’t stop watching her. He loved the way she used her hands when she talked, and sensed her frustration when her movements were restricted by the cast on her wrist. She told every story with energy and enthusiasm, until he almost felt like flying over the Atlantic just to visit some of the places she described.

  The smart girl had grown into a strong, independent woman and if anything the attraction was even greater than it had been when they’d been together in the past.

  Her anecdotes made a long trek through the forest feel like five minutes.

  When they finally arrived, they ate lunch and then took the canoes out on the pond. There was much squealing as they waited for the boats to leak or sink and even greater satisfaction when they didn’t. They raced in teams, then dragged the canoes onto the banks and swam in the clear sparkling water, jumping in from the dock.

  It was lighthearted, innocent fun and by the time they gathered around the campfire, everyone was tired.

  This part Zach would happily have avoided, but two of the younger children had decided he was the key to staying alive in the big scary woods and had latched themselves on to him like ticks. As he settled down for campfire, they sat next to him, so close that their legs pressed against his.

  Suffocated, he’d glanced across at Brittany but she simply grinned at him and carried on handing out marshmallows.

  He turned to the little girl on his right who had welded herself like superglue to his side. “You all right?”

  “I want to go home. I’m scared of the forest.”

  In his experience, there was a range of things in life worth being scared of, but the forest wasn’t one of them. He racked his brains for her name. “Which part scares you, Grace?”

  “The dark.” It was a nervous whisper. “And not knowing whether what’s out there is going to come and get you.”

  Zach felt a twinge of sympathy. He’d felt that fear himself, although never related to the forest. “The dark isn’t going to hurt you. And you know what’s out there. Trees, plants, and the birds and animals that live in them. This is their home and they’re not too interested in you as long as you treat their home with respect. And you’re going to be tucked up cozy and warm in your cabin tonight.”

  “Will you be there?” Her head turned towards him and he noticed that one of the red ribbons in her hair had worked its way loose.

  It made him think of all the times he’d hung out at Ryan’s house, teasing him mercilessly every time Rachel had plopped herself onto his lap to have her hair braided.

  Observing Ryan had made him relieved he didn’t have a little sister.

  There was no way he would have wanted the responsibility of caring for another person in the home he’d inhabited. It would have been like dropping a dormouse into a nest of vipers.

  “You’re losing your ribbon. Let me fix that for you.” Leaning towards her, he retied the ribbon. “You don’t need to worry, Grace. I’m not in your cabin, but you have Rachel and Stephanie. And I�
��ll be close by.”

  The camp up at the pond consisted of a yurt and several basic cabins. The children slept six to a cabin with two counselors and the yurt was used as a staff room and indoor camp if the weather changed. Because technically he was “extra” on this trip, Zach got to sleep in the yurt.

  Judging from the expression on her face, Grace wished he was going to be sleeping in the cabin with her. “Do you believe in monsters?”

  Zach stared at the fire and wondered how the hell he was supposed to answer that. He believed in the sort of monster who tried to break through a barricaded door, fueled by rage and alcohol. He’d come face-to-face with that one. Memories darkened his thoughts and then he felt Grace press closer.

  “Zach?”

  Sucked back into the present he reminded himself that this was about her, not him. “You mean the sort of monster that hides under the bed and comes out in the night? No. There are no monsters in this forest, Grace. Just animals that think of this place as their home. As long we leave them to get on with their lives, it will be fine.”

  “What if something comes when it’s dark and we’re all asleep?”

  “Then you holler and I’ll be right there.”

  “Do you promise?”

  Responsibility pressed down on him. He knew all about broken promises, but he also knew how it felt to be scared. “I promise.” His mouth was dry. “And now you need to try and relax and have fun because this is your last night at camp.” Most of the children would be heading home the next day. For them, this final campfire was the perfect end to an idyllic summer.

  Zach glanced across at Brittany, who was laughing at something Rachel had said. Her laughter was so infectious he found himself smiling, too, even though he had no idea what she’d found so amusing.

  How did it feel to be that trusting? To leave that door unlocked and believe that the person entering would do you no harm?

  She held nothing back. Her emotions were open and accessible to everyone. Including him. She opened the door wide and let everyone in whereas he kept the door between him and the rest of the world closed and firmly bolted.