Single Father, Wife Needed Page 17

  ‘Well, of course I was going to tell you, but—’

  ‘When? After you’d moved?’

  Evanna lifted a hand to her forehead, which throbbed and pounded with relentless ferocity. ‘Kyla, I don’t need this. I’m tired and I’m…’ Miserable, lost, confused. Her hand dropped to her side and she closed her eyes briefly, blocking out the reality. She still couldn’t really take in what selling the house really meant. She was leaving Glenmore. ‘Yes, I’m selling the cottage.’ Saying the words aloud had a finality that unlocked the misery inside her.

  ‘Why? What’s happened? You love Glenmore. You love your cottage.’ Kyla waved a hand and her long blonde hair bounced around her shoulders. ‘You’ve done up every inch of this place exactly the way you like it. It’s taken every penny of your salary.’

  ‘Yes.’ She didn’t need to be reminded exactly how much of herself had gone into this house.

  ‘So why are you selling your house. Your home?’

  ‘Because I don’t need a home,’ Evanna croaked. ‘At least, I don’t need a home on Glenmore. Not any more.’

  Kyla stared. Then she took a deep breath. ‘Run that past me again.’

  ‘I’m leaving, Kyla. I’ve spoken to the Royal Infirmary today and they’re going to give me a job on the labour ward. I’m moving to the city. I can start as soon as Logan and Ethan agree to let me go.’

  ‘They’ll never agree to let you go and neither will I.’ Kyla’s voice sounded scratchy and she plopped down onto one of the kitchen chairs. ‘Why? Why would you leave Glenmore? You love the island. Why would you go?’

  ‘Because I can’t breathe the same air as Logan any more,’ Evanna whispered, her expression stricken. ‘I have to move on and I’ve realised that I can’t do that when I’m rubbing shoulders with him all the time.’

  Kyla was silent. ‘Has something happened?’

  Evanna hesitated. There were some things too personal to share even with her best friend. ‘I just made a decision, that’s all.’ After they’d made love for almost all of the night.

  ‘Does he know?’ Kyla’s voice was gruff. ‘Have you told him?’

  ‘Not yet.’ But she was sure he’d be relieved. He wouldn’t want her hanging around. It would be too awkward. Evanna walked to the kitchen table and picked up the letter that she’d typed earlier. ‘I’ve redone this a thousand times and I still don’t know if it’s right.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘My letter of resignation.’

  ‘Then it isn’t going to be right.’ Kyla took it from her and read it swiftly. Then her shoulders sagged and her eyes filled. ‘Evanna, don’t do this. You’re my best friend. You’ve been my best friend since we pulled each other’s hair in toddler group.’

  ‘You pulled my hair,’ Evanna mumbled, looking away so that she couldn’t see the tears. ‘I never touched yours.’

  Kyla gave a smile that wasn’t entirely steady. ‘Yes, well, you always did hate confrontation. You’re hopeless at rows because you just want everyone to be friends and love each other. Oh, heck, you’re making me cry, and you know I never cry.’ She scrabbled in her pocket for a tissue and blew her nose. ‘I know I drive you mad but I love you. You’re my best friend. What would I do without you?’

  ‘You’re married now,’ Evanna said softly, blinking back her own tears. ‘Everything’s different.’

  ‘Being married doesn’t alter our friendship.’

  ‘Maybe not. But loving Logan alters everything.’

  ‘Have you told him how you feel about him? Surely it’s worth it before you take such a drastic step? If you’re leaving anyway, what does it matter?’

  ‘He knows.’ She hadn’t told him, but she’d shown him. With her body. She’d given him everything. And he hadn’t wanted it. Not in the way that she wanted him to want it. He hadn’t said a word. Just left while she’d still been sleeping.

  ‘You’ve spelt it out?’

  ‘We’ve been here before, Kyla,’ Evanna said patiently. ‘You can’t force someone to love you. Anyway, I don’t know why you’re being so tragic. You can come and visit me.’

  ‘I’m hopeless in cities,’ Kyla muttered, blowing her nose again. ‘I get lost and I feel crowded and hemmed in. So do you, you know you do. You’ve never been a city person and you never will be.’

  Evanna took a deep breath. ‘You won’t change my mind, Kyla,’ she said quietly. ‘I’ve been over and over it in my head and I know it’s the right thing to do.’

  Kyla watched her for a long moment, her eyes swimming with tears. ‘Ethan might just beat you up. He hates seeing me cry.’

  ‘I hate seeing you cry, too.’ Evanna stood up and held out her arms and Kyla walked into them, hugging her tightly.

  ‘I need Cupid to visit the island and stab my brother. Hard.’

  ‘Yes. It’s time he fell in love.’

  ‘I want it to be with you.’ Kyla squeezed her hard and then released her. ‘I really wanted it to be with you.’

  Evanna gave a helpless shrug. ‘Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to. You know that as well as I do. We just have to get on with it. Play the hand we’ve been given.’

  Kyla wiped her face with the palm of her hand and managed a smile. ‘You’re always so sensible, do you know that? What am I going to do without you? Who is going to stop me eating Meg out of ice cream and chocolate flakes?’

  ‘I never manage to stop you, anyway.’ Evanna gave a shaky smile. ‘I’ll call. And e-mail. We’ll stay in touch. I promise.’

  ‘But it won’t be the same.’

  ‘No.’ Evanna felt her heart twist for everything she was losing. ‘No, it won’t be the same. But life doesn’t stay the same, Kyla. No matter how much you want it to, it doesn’t stay the same. We all have to keep moving forward.’

  She kept telling herself that.

  Keep moving forward.

  Logan was just finishing surgery the next morning when his sister marched into the room. One look at the flash in her blue eyes warned him that she was about to pick a fight.

  He sighed and sat back in his chair. ‘If this is one of your explosions, make it quick. I have house calls.’

  ‘I know. Ellen McBride and Gail Forster. I spoke to Janet. They can both wait.’ She slammed the door shut and strode across to his desk. ‘Are you seriously going to let her go? She’s part of this practice—part of this island—and you’re going to let her walk away? Are you nuts?’

  Logan blinked. There was nothing quite like his sister in a seething temper. ‘I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,’ he drawled softly, and she glared at him.

  ‘Well, of course you haven’t. You’re obviously completely stupid.’

  He lifted an eyebrow. ‘And your evidence for that assessment would be—?’

  ‘The fact that you’re letting Evanna leave! How could you do it? How could you let her resign? She belongs here. She belongs with us. She’s part of Glenmore Island. Part of the practice. You’ll never find another nurse like her if you search high and low!’

  Logan sat still. ‘What do you mean, leave? Where’s she going?’

  ‘To the mainland. To work. And live. And…’ Kyla faltered and waved a hand. ‘To do all the things that she used to do here. Did you accept her letter of resignation? Did you?’

  ‘She’s planning to resign?’ Logan rose to his feet and Kyla folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes.

  ‘You’re pretending that you don’t know?’

  ‘Of course I didn’t know,’ he snapped, and then drew in a deep breath and forced himself to think. This was all his fault. He’d compromised her. He’d destroyed their friendship. If she was leaving, it was because of him. ‘It’s my fault, Kyla.’

  ‘Well, I know that. The whole thing is your fault.’

  Logan frowned. She knew? Evanna had told her? It was true that Kyla and Evanna were close friends, but still… ‘I’m not in the habit of discussing my sex life with my sister.’ />
  ‘Your sex life? Why would I want to discuss your sex life?’ Kyla threw him an impatient glance. ‘I mean, it isn’t as if you—’ She broke off and stared at him. ‘What did you just say?’

  ‘I said that I’m not prepared to discuss my sex life with you.’

  ‘We were talking about Evanna.’

  ‘Yes.’

  Kyla stared and then swallowed. ‘You had sex with Evanna? You—’

  Logan’s gaze was icy. ‘I’ve already told you, I won’t discuss my sex life. If Evanna chose to confide in you, that’s up to her, but—’

  ‘She didn’t.’ Kyla sat down in the nearest chair and stared at the wall. ‘She didn’t, but now I see. You had sex? When?’

  ‘Kyla!’

  ‘Just tell me!’ Kyla’s voice was a threatening growl. ‘For goodness’ sake, this is important. When?’

  He let out a long breath. ‘The night of the barbecue.’

  ‘Saturday.’ Kyla gave a slow nod. ‘That explains everything.’

  ‘Does it?’

  ‘Of course it does. Sex changes everything. Up until the sex part she was perfectly able to live with the fact that she loved you and you didn’t love her back. But sex—sex for Evanna is extremely serious. Evanna doesn’t do casual relationships.’

  ‘I know that. I…’ He frowned at her, trying to decipher the strange conversation they were having. ‘Did you just say that she was able to live with the fact that she loved me, but I didn’t love her back?’

  ‘Yes. After both plan A and plan B failed, she decided to just give up and live with things as they are.’ Kyla’s tone was conversational and then she glanced up and saw the darkening expression on her brother’s face. ‘What?’

  His tone was dangerously soft. ‘I’d like to hear the details of plan A and plan B.’

  Kyla squirmed. ‘I probably shouldn’t—’

  ‘I’ll give you five seconds to start talking.’

  Kyla sighed. ‘Oh, well, given that the whole thing is such a mess, I don’t see any harm in it.’

  She was going to miss Glenmore Island so much.

  Evanna sat on the cliffs and stared across the sea towards the mainland. It was a view she’d grown up with. A view she’d believed she’d grow old with.

  She couldn’t imagine not seeing it on a daily basis as she drove to work. She couldn’t imagine not popping into Meg’s café for a coffee and a gossip. She couldn’t imagine not running along the cliffs, swimming in the sea and sharing barbecues in Logan’s garden with all their friends and family.

  But she needed to build a new life and that was what she was going to do.

  Somehow she’d struggled through her morning clinic, seeing patients on automatic, responding to their questions without even hearing her own answers. She’d intended to go straight into Logan’s room and tell him her plans but instead she’d found herself walking up here to the cliffs for one last look.

  Her letter of resignation sat in her pocket like a lump of lead.

  After Kyla had left the previous evening, she’d read it over and over again and cried so hard that she’d thought her head might burst.

  Then she’d made a supreme effort to pull herself together.

  Enough.

  Enough crying.

  ‘Evanna?’

  She turned and saw him standing there, his hair lifting in the breeze, his face so handsome that it made her catch her breath. ‘Logan? What are you doing up here?’

  His gaze was fixed on her face, his blue eyes sharply questioning. ‘I should be asking you the same question.’

  ‘Oh.’ She scrambled to her feet and struggled to produce a smile. ‘I just needed some fresh air.’

  ‘Why would you need fresh air?’ His eyes didn’t shift from hers and she felt her stomach roll over.

  Now. She should tell him now. It was the perfect opportunity. ‘I—I’m glad you came up here. I was hoping to catch up with you later. I needed to give you something.’ Her hand shaking, she delved into her pocket and pulled out the crumpled letter. ‘Sorry. It’s been in my pocket.’ She thrust it towards him and he took it and tore it in half in a slow, purposeful movement and then handed it back to her.

  She stared at him in confusion and then looked at the torn letter in her hand. ‘You didn’t even read it.’

  ‘I didn’t need to.’ His voice was steady. ‘I know what was in that letter, Evanna, and the answer is no. You’re not resigning. You’re not leaving Glenmore Island, you’re not leaving the practice and most of all you’re not leaving me.’

  She stared at him and felt the emotion surge up inside her again. He was being so unfair. This was hard enough for her without him making it even harder. ‘I suppose Kyla told you. You can’t stop me, Logan.’ She almost choked on the words. ‘I know it’s inconvenient for you, but I’m not the only nurse in the world. You’ll find someone else who can do the job just as well.’

  ‘That isn’t true. I wouldn’t find a nurse as good as you if I searched Scotland, but that isn’t why I’m not going to let you go.’

  She gave a helpless shrug. ‘Are you thinking of Kirsty? Because you needn’t worry about that. I’ll stay in touch.’

  ‘It isn’t about Kirsty.’

  ‘I can’t stay, Logan.’ Her voice was a whisper. ‘I have to go. I— It’s complicated.’

  ‘I’ve never minded complicated. Why do you have to go, Evanna?’

  Their eyes held for a long moment and then she turned away and looked at the sea. ‘That doesn’t really matter.’

  ‘It matters to me.’

  ‘Why?’ She swallowed hard and concentrated on the antics of a seagull swooping down to snatch a tidbit from the water.

  ‘Because we have a relationship.’ He gave soft curse and she felt his hands on her arms, his grip firm and purposeful as he turned her towards him. ‘For goodness’ sake, look at me, Evanna! This conversation is hard enough without trying to talk to your back. I want to know why you feel you have to leave the island. You owe me an explanation. And I want the truth.’

  Given no alternative, she lifted her eyes to his face. He looked rough and rugged, strands of dark hair flopping over his forehead, his blue eyes sharp and observant. She’d grown up looking at his face. Seen him grow from boy to man. ‘There’s nothing more I can tell you, Logan.’

  ‘No?’ His eyes were very blue. ‘You’re not going to tell me exactly how long you’ve been in love with me? How long, Evanna?’

  Her heart tripped over and she stood still, aware of his gaze on her face. Above them a seagull shrieked, but neither of them noticed. ‘For ever.’ The word was barely audible so she cleared her throat and tried again. ‘For ever, Logan. I’ve been in love with you for ever. Girl, teenager and woman. There. You wanted the truth and now you have it.’ She waited to feel humiliation or embarrassment but instead all she felt was relief. Finally there was no longer any need to pretend.

  His gaze didn’t flicker. ‘And you’re leaving because…?’

  ‘I’ve just told you why I’m leaving.’

  ‘No, you haven’t. You told me that you love me. Girl, teenager and woman. You haven’t told me why you’re leaving.’

  ‘How can you be so insensitive? I can’t be this close to you any more. It hurts too much. I want to find a family, a home, a man who loves me, and I’m never going to find those things while you’re in my line of vision because no one else exists for me.’

  There was a long silence broken only by the distant rush of waves over rock. Then he let go of her arms and took her face in his hands. ‘Look at me. I want you to look at me.’

  ‘No.’ She closed her eyes. ‘This is so hard for me, Logan.’

  ‘Then let me make it easier. I want you looking at me when I tell you that I love you, too. I love you, Evanna.’ He stroked her face with his fingers and she opened her eyes.

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I love you. I should have told you the night we made love but you fell asleep and I had to get ba
ck to Kirsty. And then the next morning I was ready to tell you and you started talking about how much you wanted us to still be friends.’

  She looked into his eyes, those lazy blue eyes that always made her weak at the knees. ‘We had sex, Logan. It wasn’t about love.’

  ‘Yes, it was. It was all about love.’ He gave a crooked smile and she felt suddenly peculiar. Her heart was hammering and her pulse was dancing. But she pushed down the little spurt of excitement.

  ‘You’ve known me all your life, Logan. I’m sure you do love me. Like a sister.’

  ‘Not like a sister.’ His gaze dropped to her mouth and lingered there. ‘Nothing like a sister.’

  It was becoming hard to breathe. ‘I’ve been under your nose for ever.’

  ‘So maybe I’m just a bit slow.’ He stroked her hair away from her face with a gentle hand. ‘Or maybe, subconsciously, I always thought that you were out of bounds. You were my baby sister’s best friend. Then you were a colleague.’

  ‘You’ve kissed just about every girl on this island, Logan MacNeil. But you never kissed me until last Saturday.’

  ‘If I’d known how good it was going to be, I would have been kissing you in the playground, right under Ann Carne’s nose.’ He hesitated. ‘Perhaps I didn’t kiss you because you were the only one that mattered to me. Our relationship was too important to risk messing it all up.’

  She couldn’t listen. She couldn’t allow herself to believe it. ‘Logan, you’ve had a terrible year, and—’

  ‘Stop.’ He covered her lips with his fingers. ‘If you’re going to suggest that this is rebound or therapy or anything like that, don’t waste your breath. What I feel for you is real, Evanna. And it’s for ever.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘It doesn’t make sense, does it? You’re going to ask me why I suddenly know I love you when you’ve always been in my life. Why haven’t I felt it before? And I don’t know the answer to that. I don’t know why I haven’t realised it before.’

  ‘You loved Catherine.’

  ‘Yes, I did.’ His voice was soft. ‘I won’t lie to you about that. I did love Catherine. But she’s gone. And now I’m in love with you. I’m crazy about you and I can’t let you leave the island. You told me that I should grab happiness and I agree with you. But you’re my happiness, Evanna.’