Christmas Ever After Page 16
“Yeah, you know what? It is enough. You’re divorced. It happened and it’s done. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you do have to live your life. Are you really going to do that looking backward?”
He wondered what she’d say if he confessed that right now he wasn’t thinking about his divorce. “How I live my life is no business of yours.”
“I’m making it my business. I’m doing you a favor, Alec. You helped me, so now I’m helping you.”
She was the sort of woman who would double any trouble a man was already in.
“I don’t want your help. What I want,” he said slowly, “is for you to leave this alone.”
“Are you sure?” She strolled over to him, thumbs tucked into the pockets of her jeans, eyes sparkling. “Because I was thinking of taking a different approach. More ‘hands-on.’” The thought of how it would feel to have her hands on him sent a hot, torturous ache through his body.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Then maybe you need to change your thinking. Take a little help from a friend.”
He noticed that her eyes were a deeper blue in firelight than sunlight and that her hair kinked slightly when she came in from outdoors.
“You’re offering me friendship?”
“I’m offering you a little bit more than that.” She gave a slow, wicked smile. “Friends with benefits.”
“I seem to recall that last night you called me brooding, cynical, sarcastic and arrogant.”
Her smile widened. “I think I might also have mentioned your biceps.” She lifted her hand and hooked the front of his shirt with her fingers. “With a body like yours, I’m willing to ignore the flaws in your personality. This may have escaped your notice, Shipwreck Hunter, but I find you very sexy.”
His blood was pounding. The atmosphere in the room was meltingly hot and heavy.
“Perhaps you’re not my type.”
Her smile faded but her fingers stayed locked in his shirt. “I saw a photo, Alec,” she said softly. “I look like her. She’s more delicate, of course, thinner, but overall there is a strong resemblance. That’s why you’ve always been so angry around me, isn’t it? You look at me and you think of her.”
Right now he wasn’t thinking of anything much. She was standing so close to him, his brain had virtually shut down.
“Someone showed you a photograph of Selina?”
“No. It fell out of a book I was flicking through. I’m like her.”
“You’re nothing like her.” And that, he thought, is the most dangerous aspect of the attraction.
“You mean because she’d never threaten to put her stiletto through your balls?”
“She wouldn’t be so direct.”
“Is that why you’re so wary?” She looked at him thoughtfully, head tilted, her gaze frank. “You never quite knew what demands she’d make, is that right?”
He sighed. “How many different ways do I have to tell you that I don’t want to talk about her?”
She didn’t seem to hear him. “That’s why you made that comment about feeling as if you couldn’t live up to her expectations. She was full of demands that you just couldn’t meet. You couldn’t please her, could you?”
“Are you finished?”
“No.” She let go of his shirt and paced across the room and when she turned there was a frown on her face. “Being with her totally put you off relationships and, worse than that, now you never take anything at face value. A kiss can’t be just a kiss. You’re always looking for hidden meaning.” She tapped her finger to her mouth, thinking. “She twisted you inside out, made you dance through hoops. She kept you off balance. Being with her was never soothing, or fun, it was like navigating an assault course. There were always obstacles, tasks to perform.”
Her insight was unsettling. “Leave it.”
“Will you answer me one question? Are you still in love with her?”
His mouth was dry. He felt more naked than he ever had with his clothes off. “I was never in love with her.”
There was a long, pulsing silence.
“And that eats you up, right?” She spoke slowly. “You feel guilty about that, because you’re a decent guy and you couldn’t ever give her what she wanted. Be what she wanted. But no one could, Alec. You got involved with blender woman.”
“Blender woman?”
“Yeah—chops you up, spins you round, makes a total mess of you until you come out completely changed from how you were when you went into the relationship. And because of that, now when you meet a woman you find attractive the first thing you wonder is whether it’s worth the risk. What if you give her your number and she uses it to call you a hundred times a day? Maybe it’s just sex, but what if it isn’t and sleeping together gives her unrealistic expectations? You start thinking like that and pretty soon all those what-ifs act like contraception. It’s not worth it.”
“You’re right. It’s not worth it.”
“Not all relationships have to be complicated, Alec. Sometimes they can be fun. Sometimes people are who they seem to be and want what they say they want. Not all women are like Selina, any more than all men are like Richard. Are you really going to live life with one eye always on the past, because I don’t think you’re that type of guy.”
“It’s called learning from your mistakes.”
“It’s called being a dumbass.” But she was smiling and that smile snapped something inside him.
He could no longer remember why he was holding back and he crossed the room in two strides and hauled her against him. He saw her eyes grow wide and then he buried his hands in her glorious hair, and brought his mouth down on hers in an aggressive kiss. She melted into him and he felt her arms wind round his neck, dragging him closer. Her mouth opened under the fierce pressure of his and he tasted the delicious, sugar-coated flavor of her, the addictive fusion of sweetness and heat, the warmth of her breath and the erotic slide of her tongue. Desire jolted through him and she purred deep in her throat.
“I’m so glad you agree with me.”
“I don’t agree with you.” Without lifting his mouth from hers, he yanked her shirt out of her jeans and undid the buttons. He couldn’t remember ever wanting anything or anyone as badly as he wanted her. He told himself that it was because he hadn’t let himself give in to the feeling, but deep down he knew it was more than that.
There was something about her—
Something—
“If you don’t agree, then why are you kissing me?” She was breathless, unbalanced, her hand clamped hard on his biceps to steady herself as he stripped her shirt from her shoulders, exposing skin the color of whipped cream and dips and curves half-concealed by a lace bra.
“It’s the only way I know to stop you talking.” A single move of his fingers sent the bra to the same place as the shirt and he heard her gasp turn to a soft moan as he kissed her throat, her shoulder and then the swell of her breast. He lingered, teased and then drew the tip of her breast into the heat of his mouth. Her nipple hardened beneath the slow flick of his tongue and he felt her fingers lock in his hair.
“Alec—”
He transferred his mouth to her other breast, while his fingers dealt with the snap of her jeans. He eased them down over smooth skin and soft curves, feeling her shiver under the slow stroke of his hands. The elastic of her panties provided no barrier and he dispensed with those, too. The desire to bury himself deep into her perfect body was tempered by the knowledge that it would be a criminal waste to rush anything this perfect. Now that he had her naked under his hands, he wanted to savor every taste and every touch.
“Every time I look at you I see you naked. Doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a dress or a coat, I still see you naked. That night in the shower scarred me.”
“Scarred?” Her breaths were coming in tiny pants. “Scars are bad.”
“Scars are permanent. I can’t get that image out of my head. I may need surgery.”
Cupping her face in his hands, he lowered his mouth to hers again, but this time his kiss was slow and gentle. He absorbed her, drank her in, demanded more, deepening the intimacy of the connection until all his senses were screaming. His hand was on her breast and he felt the tiny tremors that affected every inch of her delicious body.
She gave a sob and he silenced it with his mouth.
“Shh.” He spoke softly against her lips and eased her hair back with his hand, giving him access to her neck and throat. He kissed his way across her jaw and lower, feeling her heart in his palm.
Its frantic beat reminded him that he had to be careful.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t hurt me. Your responsibility is to give me an orgasm I’ll never forget. That’s it. It ends there.”
He tried to respond but her words had blown all the circuits in his brain.
He was so focused on her he’d forgotten that he was still fully clothed until he felt her hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, tugging in a feverish attempt to gain access. He brought his mouth back to hers, kissing her deeply as he covered her hands with his and helped her finish the job.
And then he was naked, too, just as he’d been in the shower that night, only this time there was no distance between them. She wound herself closer, pressing against the rigid thickness of his erection, her thigh sliding against his.
“You’re beautiful.” He nudged her back to the bed until she lost her balance and would have fallen if he hadn’t been holding her.
He lowered her onto the soft throw, covering her with his body, his muscles bunching as he shifted to protect her from taking his full weight.
She moaned and he transferred his mouth back to hers, silencing her with a kiss.
“You can’t make a sound. If my parents hear us, they’ll be booking the church.” He felt her nails dig into his shoulders.
“I—”
“Silent sex. Can you do that?” He wasn’t sure he could do that but she looked at him, eyes huge and a little unfocused. Then she nodded.
“Yes.” She murmured the word against his mouth. “Yes. Anything. Alec, I want— I need you to—”
“Not yet. If we’re doing this, then we’re doing it my way.” He slid his hand down her body, between her thighs and felt her lift and push against his fingers in desperate pleading. She was silken and soft and now he was the one struggling not to make a sound. Sliding his fingers deep, he felt her clamp down on him and muffled his own groan in her neck.
Then he slid lower, kissing his way down her body, hearing her breathing go shallow as he parted her and used his mouth in an intimate exploration that left her shivering. He stroked, licked, tortured and tormented, keeping her pinned there with his hands while he took what he wanted. She writhed against his firm grip but still she made no sound, not even when he brought her close to the edge. He knew she was close, could feel those telltale tremors with his mouth and fingers, and kept her there, poised for the fall, denying her the release she wanted.
She squirmed and twisted in the grip of delicious agony. “Alec—” She whispered his name softly in the semidarkness. “Alec—”
“Yeah, I know.” His voice sounded disembodied in the darkness and he eased up her body, reached into the night-stand and found what he wanted.
She wound her legs round him in pure invitation and he entered her with a series of slow, rhythmic thrusts that brought a cry to her lips.
He smothered it with his hand, then his lips, their mouths welded together as he drove himself deep. He was surrounded by her, engulfed, and he stilled, overwhelmed by the feel of her, unable to move or think.
She was soft, tight, and thick waves of syrupy pleasure washed over him, drowning him.
His mind blanked.
“Alec?” She eased her mouth from his and whispered his name, her hand on his face, tracing his jaw as if she was discovering him for the first time. “Alec—”
He dragged himself back from the edge of oblivion and heard her soft gasp as he rocked deeper inside her.
“Am I hurting you?”
“No.” She wrapped her legs around him and licked at his lips. “Don’t stop.”
Her hips urged him to move and he withdrew slightly and surged into her again, driving the breath from his lungs.
If sex had ever felt like this before then he couldn’t remember it.
She closed her eyes and he paused, even though it cost him.
“Look at me.”
Her eyes opened and she stared at him without focus. “Alec—”
“Maybe this is just sex—maybe simple does exist—” he breathed the words against her mouth “—but I want you to know who you’re with.”
“I know who I’m with.” Her gaze was locked on his, her eyes fierce. “Do you really think I don’t know who I’m with?”
Without breaking the connection, he surged into her and felt her breathing change.
Dimly he heard the sound of a footstep outside the door and he slammed his hand on her mouth and stilled, his body buried deep inside hers.
Her eyes were wide, her body trembling with need and he replaced his hand with his mouth and muffled every breath and every gasp. It took all his control but he kept his rhythm slow and easy, even though there was nothing slow and easy about the feelings that went with it. They ripped through him, tearing at his flesh and his control. He felt her body move under his and knew she was feeling it, too.
And still they kept the connection. Eyes locked. Mouths together. Joined in every possible way.
Pleasure built, expanded and he felt her breathing change as she finally reached that peak. This time he did nothing to suspend the pleasure. He felt her ripple around him, the sensuous pulses of her body gripping his shaft and sending him over the edge. They kissed all the way through it, through every pulsing wave, every slick thrust, locked intimately together, so that he felt every part of her, experienced every bit of what she was experiencing. And she gave everything. Held nothing back, drawing him in with her mouth, her hands, her body.
Emerging from the most ferocious, blinding climax of his life, he knew that whatever this was, it sure as hell wasn’t uncomplicated sex.
CHAPTER TEN
“THANK YOU FOR a wonderful weekend.” Sky leaned forward and hugged Suzanne tightly, wondering why leaving felt so hard when she’d only met Alec’s family a few days earlier. “I can’t remember ever having a better time.” She felt Suzanne hug her back, sensed the strength of her arms and breathed in the scent of baking. She felt a pang knowing that she probably wouldn’t see Suzanne and the rest of the family again.
“Come back and visit us again soon.” Suzanne cleared her throat and stepped back. “Alec, you must bring her—we always love seeing your friends.”
Knowing that the chances of Alec ever bringing her to his home again were about as likely as a white Christmas in the Caribbean, Sky stepped forward and hugged Olivia.
“Come and visit me in New York.”
“Are you serious?” Liv looked as if she’d been handed Christmas and birthday in one package. “When?”
Alec sighed. “Liv—”
“You’re welcome anytime.” She and Alec finished their goodbyes, patted the dogs for the last time and then climbed into the car for the drive back to London.
The doors closed and his arm brushed against hers.
Heat rushed across her skin and her breath caught.
That was all it took.
A simple touch.
The brush of his arm.
When they’d driven here from London the car had felt spacious and roomy, but now it felt small.
And it shouldn’t. She’d promised him a night of simple sex. No complications. No hidden anything.
Things shouldn’t feel different.
That wasn’t supposed to happen.
But for some reason last
night had brought a new intimacy, a heavy awareness that thickened the air and altered the dynamic between them.
And suddenly she didn’t want the visit to end.
She wanted to stay here with him. She wanted to go for long walks with the dogs, talk to him and make love in front of the fire and she felt a rush of panic because she wasn’t supposed to want any of those things.
He glanced toward her. “Are we going to talk about it?” His low, rich tone was thickened by words that hadn’t been spoken.
“No. Last night was all about action, not words.”
There was nothing she could say that wouldn’t freak him out.
She stared straight ahead, trying to get her thoughts under control, telling herself that her feelings were natural. Alec had helped her at the lowest point in her life. Over the past few days she’d escaped from the real world, taken time out, and now she was going to have to face it all again. Richard, her parents—
It was hardly surprising she felt this way.
It didn’t mean anything.
They had nothing in common except sexual chemistry, and that would die a death soon enough.
“I know that’s what we said.” His voice was quiet. Patient. Kind. “But are you sure you’re all right?”
She felt her heart expand in her chest.
She was 100 percent sure the last thing he wanted was to talk about what had happened, but being Alec he would still ask.
And there was no way she would take advantage of that.
It was important, no, crucial, that he didn’t know how she was feeling.
“I’m tired. I’m wondering if your mother put two and two together and got sixty-nine.” The joke came easily and she saw him shake his head.
“You’re shameless. How did I not know that about you?” But he was smiling and she was smiling, too, because being with him felt so good even if it wasn’t supposed to.
There was an easy intimacy that hadn’t been there before.
Maybe that was what having sex in a multitude of different positions did for you.
“Your mom wants happy-ever-after for you badly. I don’t want to make things worse for you by giving her false hope. I don’t want to break her heart by telling her I’m just using her little boy for sex.”