A Wedding in December Page 12

  “I know you love the garden. You’ve transformed Honeysuckle Cottage. Do you remember when we moved in? It was a wilderness.”

  She remembered. And she remembered her excitement at the gradual transformation from wilderness to a dream garden. “A hobby doesn’t qualify you to do a paid job.”

  “Very few people get the first job they apply for. These days people apply for multiple jobs.”

  She pushed her plate away from her. “I applied for multiple jobs.”

  “What? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this.”

  She shrugged. “There was nothing to tell. I didn’t get a single interview, let alone a job. Maybe I don’t sound like the type of person who uses a planner.”

  “I didn’t know you were unhappy with your life.”

  “I wasn’t, but my life has changed, Nick. It changed after Rosie left home. I needed something else, but it isn’t as easy as it looks in the movies. That isn’t how real life works.” Her head throbbed. Which of them had started this conversation?

  “I hadn’t thought about the sacrifice you made until last night in the car.”

  “Staying at home wasn’t a sacrifice, it was a choice. And you’re right, I loved being there for our girls.”

  “But it makes you feel inferior. And I don’t understand why it would.”

  “Think about it, Nick! Do you ever read a feature praising a woman whose life is to care for her disabled child or parent with Alzheimer’s? No, you don’t. When someone talks about ‘achievement’ they’re talking about salary and status, not the fact that you actually managed to take a shower and change your clothes after being in the hospital with your child for two nights straight even though, believe me, that’s an achievement. You read about hedge fund managers who get up at three in the morning so they can get their workout done, use the gym, clear their emails and make a healthy breakfast for the whole family before putting in a full day of work in the city and returning home in time to read bedtime stories and then do another few hours of work before having perfect sex, three hours undisturbed REM sleep and waking up and starting again. You read about women who were at home with children and suddenly realized that if they started charging for all the cupcakes they made for their children’s friends and school events, they could turn their baking skills into a profitable business. And, by the way, the woman I read about didn’t look as if she’d ever baked a cupcake in her life and she certainly hadn’t eaten one. What you never read about is the millions of normal women who are struggling to hold it all together and don’t own a planner because we don’t exactly know what we’d write in one!”

  “Maggie, breathe!”

  She breathed, and realized he was looking at her as if she were a stranger. “Sorry. Might have got a little carried away there.”

  “A little?”

  “Ignore me. I’m feeling a little bruised by all the rejections, that’s all. My file is full.”

  “You keep a file? Where?”

  “It doesn’t matter. I’ve accepted that a new direction isn’t as easy as it looks. Or I thought I’d accepted it, and then I read about Catherine who makes it look easy.” She finished her toast and lifted her mug of coffee. “Don’t look so traumatized. Maybe I don’t have a job I love, but I adore my family. Life is always a compromise.”

  “But you’re the one who made the compromises.” His voice was rough. “I flew around the world, leaving you to hold the fort.”

  “And you missed out on being with the girls. You weren’t there when Rosie took her first steps, or the first time Katie read a whole page of her book and realized that words linked together. That was magical.” She put her coffee down, remembering. “If I could have my time again, I’d do the same.” But maybe she could have worked a little harder to find a different job. She’d played it safe, staying in the same place where they accommodated her family pressures. Maybe she should have looked a little harder to find the one thing she would have loved to do. But she wasn’t like Nick, who had excavated his parents’ garden aged five and written to the director of the British Museum when he was nine. She didn’t have one overriding passion.

  He was frowning at her. “What you said earlier—I don’t always succeed at everything.”

  “You do, and that’s okay. I’m proud of you, Nick. I always have been.”

  “You’re talking about my work.”

  “It’s more than your work. It’s your passion. It’s the most important thing to you, we all know that.”

  “Family is important, too. I didn’t succeed at that.” His voice was rough. “I didn’t succeed at our marriage.”

  She lifted her head and looked at him. There was a long silence.

  He started to speak but then paused and his gaze shifted to a point over her shoulder.

  “Rosie is here. Bad timing. Looks as if she has some clothes for you.”

  Maybe it was good timing. The conversation had gone from uncomfortable to confusing.

  And then Maggie realized that she’d forgotten the part they were playing. “The sofa—”

  “I cleared the bedding away, don’t worry.” He threw another glance at the door. “Mags, are you sure we shouldn’t—”

  “Yes, I’m sure.” She didn’t let him finish the sentence. “We’re here for a wedding, Nick. You don’t discuss divorce at a wedding. Even the most emotionally insensitive person should be able to see that.”

  “Are you saying I’m emotionally insensitive?”

  “I wasn’t, but if you genuinely think this is the right time to tell her then maybe you are.” She walked to the door as quickly as her headache would allow. Rosie stood there, looking sleek and chic in a tailored ski jacket, her jeans tucked into snow boots.

  Maggie’s heart filled with love. Why didn’t people see that not all people were motivated by money and status? Some were motivated by love. The choices she’d made had been driven by love.

  Even now, Rosie still seemed vulnerable to her. Perhaps because she’d been by her side for all those difficult moments when she’d struggled. It was hard to see beyond the young girl she’d once been. Or maybe it was because Rosie was so open to life and all it had to offer. She put up no barriers, and that was both a good thing and a bad thing.

  Maggie opened the door and gulped as a blast of freezing air rushed toward her. “Good morning, sweetheart. Come in out of the cold.”

  Rosie stepped inside and gave her an anxious look. Her long hair flowed from under her wool hat, and her cheeks were pink from the cold. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m fine, and I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. Next time I’ll go for a general anesthetic to get me through the flight, not alcohol.” She hugged her daughter. “Forgive me?”

  “Nothing to forgive.” Rosie kissed her and then tugged off her boots, scattering snow everywhere. “It snowed again in the night. Another couple of inches. Dan and Jordan went out early to get first tracks.” She saw her mother’s blank look. “First run of the day. Fresh powder. They’ll be down before the hordes of tourists finish breakfast and head out for the day.”

  Maggie couldn’t imagine choosing the icy slopes of a mountain over her snug, warm bed. “Who is Jordan?”

  “Dan’s closest friend. They met when they spent summers here growing up, and Jordan still lives and works in the valley. He built his own house. He’s going to be best man.”

  “He built a house? So he’s a builder?”

  “No. But good with his hands. Practical. He’s an arborist. Tree surgeon.”

  “Well, there are plenty of trees around here so that makes sense.” Maggie brightened. It would be interesting to talk to someone with knowledge of trees. “I wonder if he’d know what to do about our old apple tree?”

  “Ask him. Jordan knows everything. He’s obsessed with nature and conservation.” Rosie kissed her father. “Hi, Dad. Sleep wel
l? Isn’t that bed the most comfortable thing you’ve ever slept on in your life?”

  Nick’s expression didn’t flicker. “Like sleeping on a cloud.”

  “How’s your head, Mum?” Rosie grinned as she dropped the bag she was carrying onto the sofa. The sofa where Nick had slept a few hours earlier.

  “My head is fine,” Maggie lied. “Does Dan still want to marry you or has meeting your family put him off?”

  “Dan was amused to see you both behaving like honeymooners. Better than having parents who fight, right? Catherine always says that having divorced parents at a wedding can be the most awkward thing ever.”

  “I can imagine.” Maggie’s laugh was pitched higher than she’d intended. “I feel terrible that we missed dinner with Dan’s family. I was looking forward to it.”

  “You’re spending the morning with Catherine, so you’ll get to know her then.” Rosie opened the bag. “I have a few things here that might fit you. Dan’s aunt left them at Thanksgiving because she knew she’d be back for the wedding. Try them on. They’re probably not totally your style, but they’ll do until you can find something.” She pulled out a sweater in bright pink with a jeweled neck that caught the sunlight.

  Maggie felt a stab of pain in her head.

  Was Dan’s aunt a showgirl in Vegas?

  “Thank you.”

  “And jeans.” Rosie thrust them toward her. “Your feet are the same size as mine, so I’m lending you my spare snow boots.”

  Maggie hadn’t worn jeans in at least two decades.

  She tried not to think about the carefully chosen outfits packed in her suitcase.

  “I’ll put these on while you talk to your father.” She vanished to the bathroom with the spare change of underwear she’d had the forethought to pack in her hand luggage, and tugged on the clothes.

  The jeans were too tight, but by sucking everything in she managed to do them up.

  She emerged to find Rosie and Nick talking about the wedding.

  “Katie is arriving on the afternoon flight, but Dan has to be somewhere, and I have a final dress fitting. Do you think she’ll mind if Jordan picks her up? He offered to drive to the airport.”

  “She’ll be grateful, I’m sure.” Maggie wasn’t sure of much these days where Katie was concerned. She was looking forward to seeing her face-to-face. “That’s kind of him. Is he married?”

  Rosie glanced at her. “Don’t go there. You know what Katie is like. And honestly I can’t think of two people less suited than Jordan and my sister.”

  “Why? What’s wrong with your sister?”

  “Nothing. I love her. But you have to admit she is very work focused.”

  “She has an important job.” Katie didn’t have it all, either, Maggie thought sadly. She had the work but very little time for anything else.

  “She’s also a city girl. After two hours in the city, Jordan can’t breathe.” Rosie stepped back. “You look cute in those jeans.”

  “They’re acting like a tourniquet. There is no blood flowing through the lower part of my body. And I’m two decades too old to be wearing them.”

  “I think you look great.” Rosie handed her gloves and a hat. “Are you ready for your shopping trip? I’ll drop you at Snowfall Lodge on my way into town.”

  Knowing that she couldn’t make excuses after her less than impressive performance the night before, Maggie pulled on her coat.

  No matter what happened, she was going to try not to embarrass her daughter.

  Rosie turned to her father. “Dan and Jordan will pick you up here in half an hour and we’ll all meet up later. They’re going to bring outerwear to keep you warm and dry.”

  Mindful that although she’d overacted the night before, she was still part of the same play, Maggie walked over to Nick and kissed him goodbye. To her surprise he took her face in his hands and kissed her back. His mouth was warm and gentle and she felt something unfurl inside her.

  Maybe I’m still a little drunk, she thought as she eased away.

  She wondered what he’d been about to say before Rosie had turned up.

  Rosie rolled her eyes. “You guys! The rest of us have a lot to live up to.”

  Maggie headed for the door without looking at Nick.

  Was she giving Rosie a false impression of marriage by not being honest?

  No. She was doing the right thing. This was about Rosie and Dan, not her.

  Maggie stepped out of the tree house after her daughter. Last night she’d viewed the forest and the night sky through an alcohol-induced haze, but today her vision was as clear as the perfect blue sky. Fresh snow dusted the trees and she felt the cold air freeze her cheeks. The first thing she noticed was how calm and peaceful it was. She stood still for a moment, enclosed by the forest, listening to the crack of branches and the soft thud of snow. She saw a pond, frozen over and framed by conifers on one side and tall aspen trees on the other.

  Catherine was waiting outside Snowfall Lodge, slim and elegant in jeans, a coat with a fur trim and a pair of oversize shades.

  Maggie hadn’t expected her to be so casually dressed and instantly felt a little better, even though Catherine looked as if she’d spent half her life in the gym and made jeans look like a high fashion choice.

  Still, at least she wasn’t carrying a planner.

  Rosie made the introductions quickly and Maggie climbed into the car next to her daughter’s soon-to-be mother-in-law. The jeans almost cut her in two at the waist. Maybe she should ask if she could lie across the back seat.

  “I apologize for not joining you for dinner last night.”

  “Not a problem! That flight is a killer. I’m probably supposed to commiserate that the airline lost your baggage, but honestly it’s a great excuse to shop.” Catherine simmered with energy and made Maggie even more aware of her throbbing head and the fuzzy feeling that Nick had told her was jet lag.

  “I’m not a very happy flier.”

  “Me neither. My best friend on a flight is alcohol.”

  Maggie laughed. Maybe she and Catherine had more in common than she thought. “Do you travel much?”

  “I used to. When I was building the business I used to go to all the big wedding shows, but now we have so many word-of-mouth recommendations we can barely keep up, so my work is fairly local. Most of my suppliers are right here in the valley. I use a photographer who has a gallery in town, a local florist, and there’s a bridal shop run by a designer who decided she preferred our mountains to the glitter of Manhattan. She has the most exquisite dress for Rosie, I can’t wait for you to see it.”

  “It’s generous of you to have given Rosie so much support.”

  “I adore Rosie. She’s so warm and genuine. The moment Dan introduced her I was thinking let her be The One. The whole family is thrilled by everything that’s happened. Aren’t you?”

  Was she thrilled? “Dan seems delightful,” she said diplomatically. She still wasn’t entirely sure what she’d said to him the night before. “But it has all happened rather fast.”

  “I know. When Dan proposed at Thanksgiving, I almost cried.”

  Maggie had almost cried, too, although she suspected it would have been a different sort of crying. “So it was a shock to you?”

  “You have no idea. It was always going to be a special gathering because Rosie was with us, but I never imagined how special. So romantic and meaningful, because my Dan is not impulsive. Is Rosie?”

  Yes, Maggie thought. Changes her mind with the wind. “They do seem very much in love.”

  Did they? She couldn’t remember much about that either, but it felt like the right thing to say.

  How had Rosie seemed this morning? Pretty normal, although again Maggie had been focusing more on behaving like one half of a couple who were in love. And who was she to judge? She hadn’t been able to keep her own
marriage going. Even if she was being generous to herself, she had to be at least fifty percent responsible.

  Maybe Nick was right. Maybe it was ridiculous hiding the truth.

  It wasn’t too late to change her mind. Katie was arriving tonight. She and Nick could sit the girls down and explain things. They were bound to be upset, but they were going to be upset whenever it happened and there was still almost a week until the wedding. The wedding could even be a distraction.

  Catherine drove toward town. “I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to have the bride’s parents still married and in love. When we have more time I’ll tell you about the last two weddings I helped plan. Nightmare! The bride’s parents were in the process of divorcing and let’s just say it was not harmonious. I know you told Dan this is like a second honeymoon for you.”

  Had she said that?

  Maggie wanted to get out of the car and run fast in the opposite direction, but the jeans made that impossible.

  Apart from making a vow never to drink again as long as she lived, what could she do?

  There was no way she could tell Catherine, or the girls, the truth.

  The timing was all wrong. Nick was right. They should have done it months ago, instead of waiting. This was all her fault.

  “We’re very definitely married,” she said finally. At least that was the truth. “I’m not sure I’d go as far as saying this is a second honeymoon.”

  “Now you’re embarrassed, but don’t be.” Catherine glanced briefly at Maggie. “Honestly? I envy you.”

  Maggie stared at her, this sleek, confident, successful superwoman whose jeans definitely weren’t cutting her in half. “You envy me?”

  “Yes. You still have your soul mate. Rosie tells me that the two of you met in college. Jonny and I were the same.”

  “I—I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “Me too.” Catherine gripped the wheel. “But life goes on, right? You keep walking, even when your feet are bleeding and you can hardly stand upright. But it makes me happy to know you two still appreciate your couple time. Some people don’t know what they’ve got until they lose it, but you do. I wish Jonny and I had spent more time together, just enjoying each other, but we were always busy and focusing on the next step, you know?”